Would I Trade Places?

The other day on the radio, the morning hosts posed a question:

"Wives, would you trade places with your husbands?"

OK. I had to think about that question for about 2.5 seconds. And since I'm ADHD I had seven other, completely unrelated thoughts during that time.

Both of us have similarities in our jobs:

1. We both work an unmanageable number of hours per week.
2. We both rarely get praise or recognition for the amount of hard work we put in by the people we do the most work for. 

But that's kind of where the similarities end. 

More About His Job

1. He travels about 75% of the time to places like London, Tokyo, and Chicago. He is Diamond level with Hilton Hotels and Platinum level with Delta Airlines.
2. He gets to stay at nice hotels with Executive Lounges that give you free drinks and snacks in the evening. Good morning, Mr. Edgecomb! Good evening, Mr. Edgecomb! Of course I can take care of that for you, Mr. Edgecomb!
3. He gets to eat out in restaurants where people cook your food, bring it to you, and then clean up after you leave.
4. He doesn't have to make his own bed or take out the trash because someone else does it for him. 
5. No one barfs on his bedroom rug and looks to him to clean it up.
6. If he is traveling over a weekend, he can do cool things like go to the theatre or sleep in.

Note: Right now he is in Tokyo for 10 days...

More About My Job

1. Due to aforementioned travel, much of the time I am a  single mom — to 3 boys (currently at home) from age 8 - 16.
2. I am also a Scout den leader — although I didn't sign up to be one — because my husband isn't there to do it.
3. I love to cook, but eat smoothies, eggs, and leftovers more than anything else because most of the time it's just not worth it when you're only cooking for kids who are OK with eggs. Again.
4. I make the kids do their homework, practice their instruments, and eat their veggies. And I get the pleasure of frequently being told that I am hated because of it.
5. I have to break up sibling fights a dozen times a day. Or at least tell them to go outside because I don't want to hear it.
6. I have a before-bed list of chores and tasks that takes about 30 minutes or more because I'm the only person here to do it most of the time.
7. I'm responsible. (As in: If a kid is sick, I'm responsible. If a kid needs disciplining, I'm responsible. If that cat pukes on the rug, I'm responsible.) 
8. Oh, and I also have a part-time job. 

So, back to the original question:

"Wives, would you trade places with your husbands?"

My answer:

"Not just no. Hell no!"

Because if I want to talk to my kids, I don't have to calculate time zone differences.

Because Skype is cool, but live is cooler.

Because you can't snuggle with an iPad.

Because sometimes I want eggs, and I don't have to figure out if the hotel restaurant in Tokyo can make them just the way I like them.

Because one "I love you Mommy!" coupled with a hug can cover a multitude of sins.

Because if I'm having a bad day, I have friends I can call to cry or laugh together. Or dump my kids on.

Because, as much as I complain about them, I don't have to miss sports games,  recitals, class parties, or teacher meetings for work.

Because my bed is better than any hotel bed.

Because I don't have to decide ten days ahead of time what I'm going to want to wear ten days from now.

Because I will never be downsized out of my job. Not for a long time anyway.

Because the amount of responsibility he carries on his broad shoulders is more than I can imagine.

Because I know that even if international travel were all it's cracked up to be ... and it's not ... that he'd rather be here doing this.

Disclaimer: This does not mean that, given the opportunity, I wouldn't like to get a few more stamps in my passport. Nor am I forfeiting the right to complain about my job to anyone who will listen. I mean, let's be real guys.

Finish Well.

Five-Minute Friday: Family Heroes

[Today's one-word writing prompt: Hero]

A Hero Ain't Nothin' But a Sandwich.

Raise your hand if you got that one.

OK. I got that out of my system.

I know with all of the snow and ice and crap that's been going on in Atlanta recently, you think I'm going to write about the cop who handed out coffee and granola bars to stranded motorists on the highway. Or the hotel worker who walked three miles in the snow to get a non-paying guest (i.e., lobby squatter) who had just had open heart surgery the medicine he needed. Or the man who walked five miles to be with his child who was stuck at school.

But I'm not! (Hey, wait a minute. Didn't I just?....)

After that obvious stuff passed, I was thinking about everyday heroes in my own family. So I just want to give a few shout-outs.

To my mother who didn't kill me when they took me to London when I was 11, and I made her skip something really lovely and educational to take me to Madam Tussaud's Wax Museum and House of Horrors. That's an afternoon of your life you will never get back. I'm sorry.

To my dad who melted Hershey chocolate for me after I had my tonsils out when I was 8. Is that cool or what?

To my niece who is a kick-ass single mom of two little minions, yet manages to cook more than I do (and better), have a wicked garden, and still have a raucous social life. At least it looks that way on Facebook.

To my husband who once had to hold a bowl for me to vomit into while I was ... um ... doing other things. TMI, I know. But you guys just have to know what I've put this man through.

There are plenty of others, but I'm out of time. That really isn't the image I wanted to leave you with. Sorry 'bout that.

Finish Well.

Summer@Home: What I Learned, Part 2

In addition to what I learned about stuff ... what I could do without, and what I really missed ... I learned a lot about relationships and the people around me.

PART 2: What I learned about relationships

I learned that help can come from places you don't expect. 
There's a clique in my neighborhood. I'm not really "in" it, but I'm not exactly "out" of it either. My kids don't go to the neighborhood elementary school. They don't play tackle football at the local park, which seems to be the thing to do. None of them goes to my church. So I've always kind of skirted the edge of this group of women who have a lot in common with each other, but not necessarily with me. 

But that doesn't mean that when I needed them, they didn't come through. One gave Sandy countless rides to and from football practices. Several ran to the grocery store or would even text me from the store: "I'm here! Do you need anything?" They brought meals and returned books to the library.

One gentleman in the neighborhood — the father of a friend of mine — drove Joshua and Jordan to school for two weeks while Herb was traveling. My across-the-street neighbor and I got to know each other a lot better, and we even did a Bible Study together this summer.

I learned that my neighbors have got my back just because that's who they are. I hope I get to return the favor.

Summer@Home - Day 1

Day 1
My summer at home has officially begun. School let out five days ago, so most people might consider that the official beginning of summer. But for me, summer began today — the day my husband went back to work in the office and I stayed home.

If you don't know me, you may not realize the significance of this. I have not driven since February 9, 2013. On February 10 I had the first of a series of fainting and dizzy spells that occurred multiple times a day for a month until my doctors were able to get a partial diagnosis and find medicines that would help. I passed out for the last time on March 13, so I am not allowed to drive again until I have gone six months without an episode. September 13 is my magic date.

So with school out, and my husband back at work, I'm starting a new — albeit short — phase of my life. At home. All day. Every day. All...summer...long.

Showing His divine sense of humor, and just in case I was thinking about cheating, God decided to call my car home a couple of weeks ago. So even if I wanted to, I couldn't hop in my car and take an illicit jaunt to the grocery store or ice cream stand.

I am truly stuck.

Kill me.