I'm Finished with Parenting...Sort Of

It never really occurred to me how much my lack of "finish" ability would affect my children. At least, not seriously in the life-altering kind of way.

• Joshua and Jordan have survived without a handmade Christmas stocking like the ones his older brothers have. And they will continue to love Christmas whether they get one or not.
• They don't even know their baby books aren't finished (or, in Jordan's case, started).
• Sandy's baby pictures made it into boxes in chronological order. The albums, however, are empty.
• Their clothes that need mending are in piles in my closet. Actually, shoved in corners so I don't feel guilty for not taking care of it. 
• And do any of them really care if I ever finish Sense and Sensibility? Honestly, the older two would probably rather I didn't. Then there's much less chance I'd ever expect them to.

However, as I've been realizing lately, being a bad finisher is making me a fairly poor parent.

Putting 2011 on the Shelf

Today was quite an embarrassing day.

In his quest to find our son's missing Tiger Cub Scout handbook, my husband actually went through my mail basket. You probably have one or something like it. You know, the place where you dump all the mail you're going to come back to. The stuff you need to deal with ... later ... just not now. 

Confession: I never finish going through the mail. I say I'm going to do it later, but later never comes. At least not without the calendar turning a few pages first.

Needless to say, he was rightly appalled by what he found in there.

My Finish List: The Reveal

I'm more than a little nervous about posting this. Putting something in writing is one thing.

Publishing it is entirely different.

I haven't shown my Finish List to anyone — not even my husband. Not that I've been hiding it. I just wasn't sure it was finished, and I didn't want to show it to him until it was.

See? I'm already finishing things! I finished my Finish List. 

So putting my list out there for everyone to see - OK, the three of you who will click on the link, including my husband and sister - is really daunting. That's an increase in awareness of 300% over the public's current level of awareness of my Finish List. That's huge! Enormous! Corporations and political candidates pay big money for that kind of return.

So here are the rules I set for myself for creating my Finish List:

1. Goals must be concrete and measurable. No "I'm going to lose weight" wishy-washiness. Example: "I'm going lose ten pounds."
2. Goals must have a deadline either explicitly or implicitly attached to them. Example: "I'm going to lose ten pounds by the end of May."
3. Goals, whenever possible, should be broken down into smaller sub-goals. This allows me to track progress and see if a correction needs to be made. Example: I'm going to lose two pounds by the end of February and ten pounds by the end of May."
4. Goals must have the word "finish" in them. Try it. It's harder to do than you think. Example: "I'm going to finish losing two pounds by the end of February and ten pounds by the end of May." 
5. Set goals that affect multiple aspects of life. Personal and professional, spiritual and physical, individual and family. Example: See actual list below.

From Start to Finish

I'm the consummate starter.

In fact, I'm fabulous at starting. I can start anything I set my mind to, whether or not I have the skill, strength, or knowledge to do so. If you need something started, I'm your girl. Whether it's reading a book or writing one, I start so many things that I literally can't keep track.

But I finish like crap.

Case in point: My bedside table. On it are:

• 10 books I have started and not finished. This is not all of them, mind you. Just the ones on top of my bedside table.
• A journal I started writing in January 2005. Don't you think that seven years is enough time to fill up a journal? It's really not that big. I mean, not enough to hold Gone with the Wind or Atlas Shrugged or anything.
• A book on organization, organized into weekly tasks, that I bought 14 months ago. I got bogged down by week 1 and did not continue. It is NOT included in the "unfinished book" count above.
• A bottle of hand lotion I've had for three years. Seriously? I can't even finish a bottle of hand lotion in three years?
• A bottle of water I started three days ago. At least. 
• A magazine of logic puzzles I bought a couple of months ago. I love logic puzzles. Buying it was "starting" ... actually doing one is another issue.