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| Another Sleepless Night by Janet Lavida |
Isn't it funny how two of your own kids can be so alike ... or so different. We have two distinct pairs of boys.
Pair A: Number 1 and Number 3.
Dark hair, thin as a rail, very little temper to speak of, but passive aggressive. Will look you in the face and tell you what they know the right answer is ... then turn around and do the opposite.
Pair B: Number 2 and Number 4.
Blond hair, blue eyes, and solid as rock, both of them. And a temper ... whoa Nellie! Do they both have a temper. If I had a nickel for each time either one of them has said they hate me (or I hate them) or I'm the worst mom in the world, I'd be relaxing on a beach somewhere with a piña colada in my hand.
You want to know what the kicker is?
Numbers 3 and 4 are the full bio-brothers. But they have nothing in common.
It's the two pairs of "half" brothers who are alike.
And the ones with tempers? You guessed it. Their common parent is me.
Me.
Is that where this anger comes from? Have I somehow genetically passed it on to them? Are they so hot tempered because I am hot tempered? Is it nature or nurture?
I don't know. But I wish I did. Because tonight was a doozy.
And the worst part was, it happened in front of my mom.
She's here for a week to drive me around while my Herb is traveling on business. So she had a front row seat for the fight of the century. Only I didn't really fight back. I just let number 4 sling it at me, kept my cool and stood my ground. But that made number 2 angry at number 4 for being mean to me, and made him mad at me for taking it.
And when it was over, I wanted nothing more than to just go crawl in a hole and cry. I wanted to be alone.
But I couldn't.
I couldn't because I still had to be mom to three kids, whether they wanted me to be or not.
I couldn't because I still had to be a daughter to a mother who didn't know quite what to do with what she had just seen.
But Mom's finally going to bed. So I'm writing. And crying. And wondering how I'm going to get any sleep. Or face her in the morning.
It's gonna be a long night.
Finish Well.
My #2 and #4 are like your #2 and #4...
ReplyDeleteAnd this morning was yet another example of it (with #4)...
I don't know about where it comes from, since I am the bio mom to all four of mine, and, almost to a person, people say I am relaxed and laid back and don't anger easily. At least not until my #4 decided to morph from a fun, friendly, happy girl into whatever she is today. And I have definitely changed also. I don't like it, but at this time, it is what it is.