When my son Jordan was born, Herb looked at me and asked how Sarah Bernhardt and I ever had a child together. I thought maybe his mouth just looked big because the rest of him was so small. We took to calling him "Peanut" because he was tiny ... and refused to put on weight.
But the gi-normous mouth remained. It and the stuff he has put in it became the stuff of family legend.
Jordan — my "failure to thrive" baby — the one who would eat and not gain weight to the point where the doctor said instead of milk he thinks I produced cloudy water —is now an off-the-charts linebacker of a kid. He passed his older brother in height and weight about 2-3 years ago and hasn't stopped growing.
Let's look at his dietary history and see if we can figure out why...
Urine: When Joshua was potty training, we kept one of those plastic training potties in the kitchen. One day when Joshua got up, Jordan stuck his finger in and tasted before I could stop him.
Insects: He found a dead fly on the window sill in the living room. Next thing I know, Joshua comes screaming into the kitchen..."Jordan just ate a FLY!"
Crayons: Jordan went through a stage where he would chew on crayons. I got so sick of it that one morning I served him crayons for breakfast.
He sat down at his place, and I put a plate in front of him with four crayons on it. He looked at me. I looked at him.
"I'm having crayons for breakfast? I want a bagel."
"Well honey, you insist on treating crayons like food. Every time you color, you eat your crayons. So I just give up. For breakfast you have crayons."
He sat there for a minute, and I walked into the laundry room. After a minute I hear a quiet voice ask, "Do I have to eat the paper?"
"No honey. You can unwrap them."
I swear to goodness, he ate all four crayons. But he did unwrap them first.
When he was done, I asked, "How was your crayon breakfast?"
"OK, I guess. But I'd rather have a bagel."
He never ate crayons again. But he eats just about everything else.
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