Summer@Home: How NOT to Run Fast

First of all, I apologize for wimping out. I've stopped counting the days of my Summer@Home because it just served to remind me that there have been too many days between posts.

Which means that I'm not writing enough.

Which means that I'm frittering the summer away this year just like every other frickin' year.

I don't need the guilt, so I stopped counting.

Sue me.

Anyway, one thing I have been doing this summer is attempting to get back into shape. After my little "episodes" got under control and I got my sea legs again, I decided to start running. So, not wanting to take it slowly or anything, I signed up for the Peachtree Road Race.





[Side note: This is not unusual for me. When I graduated from college I moved to Texas, sight unseen. I'd always wondered what Texas was like ... probably after too many episodes of Dallas ... so I moved there. Most people probably would have done a long weekend, I guess.]

On July 4, after some pretty decent training, I ran 6.2 miles with 60,000 of my closest friends down Peachtree Road in Atlanta. It was unusually cool, and I ran with my friend Jana who has never run it before. A grand time was had by all.

And then I sat on my bum for the next three weeks. And drank frozen sangria. (If you are a Facebook friend, you know what that leads to!) And ate chocolate and chips and pizza.

And I felt like crap.

So today I decided to sign up for the Savannah Rock-n-Roll Half Marathon on November 9. Right after my 42nd birthday.

I needed a goal. A reward. A trip. And the very real possibility of public humiliation.

How NOT to Run Fast
So back for the topic of the day, "How NOT to Run Fast." This is how I thoughtfully prepared for today's "get back in the saddle and get serious" run. Use these tips yourself if you want to run slow and feel like the walking dead.

1. Stay up until 11:30 the night before.
2. Wake up at 5 a.m.
3. Drink nothing but coffee all morning.
4. Realize at 10:30 that it's getting dangerously close to 80 degrees, so you'd better get a move on.
5. Realize at 10:31 that you've been awake for 5.5 hours and have had nothing to eat.
6. Suck down a bowl of Wheat Chex.
7. Forget to change into your real running clothes.
8. Strap on your running shoes that are still muddy from the Peachtree Road Race post-race mud party at Piedmont Park from three weeks before.
9. Don't take a water bottle. Or even drink any before you leave the house.
10. Listen to the Big Chill Soundtrack, which I now remember is full of slow songs and depressing songs about cheating and breaking up.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Finish Well.