Would I Trade Places?

The other day on the radio, the morning hosts posed a question:

"Wives, would you trade places with your husbands?"

OK. I had to think about that question for about 2.5 seconds. And since I'm ADHD I had seven other, completely unrelated thoughts during that time.

Both of us have similarities in our jobs:

1. We both work an unmanageable number of hours per week.
2. We both rarely get praise or recognition for the amount of hard work we put in by the people we do the most work for. 

But that's kind of where the similarities end. 

More About His Job

1. He travels about 75% of the time to places like London, Tokyo, and Chicago. He is Diamond level with Hilton Hotels and Platinum level with Delta Airlines.
2. He gets to stay at nice hotels with Executive Lounges that give you free drinks and snacks in the evening. Good morning, Mr. Edgecomb! Good evening, Mr. Edgecomb! Of course I can take care of that for you, Mr. Edgecomb!
3. He gets to eat out in restaurants where people cook your food, bring it to you, and then clean up after you leave.
4. He doesn't have to make his own bed or take out the trash because someone else does it for him. 
5. No one barfs on his bedroom rug and looks to him to clean it up.
6. If he is traveling over a weekend, he can do cool things like go to the theatre or sleep in.

Note: Right now he is in Tokyo for 10 days...

More About My Job

1. Due to aforementioned travel, much of the time I am a  single mom — to 3 boys (currently at home) from age 8 - 16.
2. I am also a Scout den leader — although I didn't sign up to be one — because my husband isn't there to do it.
3. I love to cook, but eat smoothies, eggs, and leftovers more than anything else because most of the time it's just not worth it when you're only cooking for kids who are OK with eggs. Again.
4. I make the kids do their homework, practice their instruments, and eat their veggies. And I get the pleasure of frequently being told that I am hated because of it.
5. I have to break up sibling fights a dozen times a day. Or at least tell them to go outside because I don't want to hear it.
6. I have a before-bed list of chores and tasks that takes about 30 minutes or more because I'm the only person here to do it most of the time.
7. I'm responsible. (As in: If a kid is sick, I'm responsible. If a kid needs disciplining, I'm responsible. If that cat pukes on the rug, I'm responsible.) 
8. Oh, and I also have a part-time job. 

So, back to the original question:

"Wives, would you trade places with your husbands?"

My answer:

"Not just no. Hell no!"

Because if I want to talk to my kids, I don't have to calculate time zone differences.

Because Skype is cool, but live is cooler.

Because you can't snuggle with an iPad.

Because sometimes I want eggs, and I don't have to figure out if the hotel restaurant in Tokyo can make them just the way I like them.

Because one "I love you Mommy!" coupled with a hug can cover a multitude of sins.

Because if I'm having a bad day, I have friends I can call to cry or laugh together. Or dump my kids on.

Because, as much as I complain about them, I don't have to miss sports games,  recitals, class parties, or teacher meetings for work.

Because my bed is better than any hotel bed.

Because I don't have to decide ten days ahead of time what I'm going to want to wear ten days from now.

Because I will never be downsized out of my job. Not for a long time anyway.

Because the amount of responsibility he carries on his broad shoulders is more than I can imagine.

Because I know that even if international travel were all it's cracked up to be ... and it's not ... that he'd rather be here doing this.

Disclaimer: This does not mean that, given the opportunity, I wouldn't like to get a few more stamps in my passport. Nor am I forfeiting the right to complain about my job to anyone who will listen. I mean, let's be real guys.

Finish Well.